The Creator Class

I read an article the other day about the coming of “Managementware.”  That’s right, companies out there are trying to automate the job of being a phlegmatic asshole who won’t approve a purchase request for a new headset even though he expects me to take calls from China in the middle of the night.

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Escher logic going on in Austin. No matter how much it rains, the drought never officially ends. It’s the Hotel California of water crises


As the world’s bestest president ever once said, “Fool me once, shame on me…(awkward pause that goes on so long the audience begins to worry he’s choking on his own tongue)… well, you just aren’t going to fool me again.”

For me, the original Terminator movie was an awakening. It was the first time I realized it was possible to tell a moving, emotional story inside of the crazy fun-house of an action movie.  I watched that VHS tape so many times I nearly erased it.

Terminator 2 was the breaking of a second seal.  Whereas most sequels just tell the same story as the first movie in a different location (see every Die Hard movie after the original), the second outing in the Terminator franchise told a completely different story.  It also managed pull off something I would have thought was impossible: the protagonists have a relentless killing machine, an actual T-800 for God’s sake, on their side, and they’re the underdogs.

Rise of the Machines wasn’t terrible, it just wasn’t anything new.  Salvation, however, was a complete mess.  I remember walking out of the theater and asking my buddy, “Did they lose a reel?”

“They don’t use reels anymore.  It’s all digital.”

“Maybe it was cloudy,” I said.  “When it’s really cloudy my satellite gets all confused.”

“No, I think we saw the movie they intended.”

“No one could have intended to show that movie.”

So let’s say, just for argument’s sake, that Salvation was Hollywood fooling me once and that the stills the Genisys team released a few months back gave me the very strong impression they were out to fool me again.  They looked awkward and phony and very much like they came from a Direct to Video production by someone like Roger Corman.

NOTE: Before you click on the link to the trailer I inserted below, know that I only watched a few minutes of it before I realized it was one of THOSE trailers where they give away the entire movie.  My advice is don’t click on it, but the choice is yours.

The new trailer on the other hand, has me interested in possibly being fooled again.

When people tell me I can’t get happiness from a big screen TV, I feel like they’re criticizing my television.


I’m sad for us because we aren’t going to get anymore striking performances from him but when you think about it, he spent his entire life doing what he loved and doing it very well.

So, good for him for being able to do it and good for us for being able to enjoy it.

R.I.P. to my very first Count Dracula.


How much fun do you think it would be to read the same book over and over again for six months?  A lot of fun or just a whole bunch of fun?  If you chose either of those options, you probably have a repetitive action disorder and should see a mental health professional immediately.

Welcome to the process of rewriting or, as I like to call it, polish drafts.  Not Polish drafts because that would be fun. Them folks make some pretty good Pilsners. No, I’m just taking a moment out to complain about the process of getting a manuscript ready for the editor.

And then, when the editor is done with it, guess what I get to do.  Go ahead, guess.  I’ll wait.

Disney World?  No, muttonchops, I have to read it again so I can get it ready for publishing.

And the weird thing is that when, sometime in the future, someone quotes the book back to me, I will very often not recognize the line they’re quoting because by that time I have put the book out of my mind like a bad dream about spiders having sex with vampire squids.

Dibs on the SyFy movie pitch.

Anyway, I’m almost done with the final pass of Arc of Destruction which means I’m just about ready to send it out to be edited which means I’m probably a month or so away from putting it out there for you to read.

Right after I get off the phone with whoever is doing development at SyFy these days.


Binge watched this Netflix original a few days ago and, man, this was so much more satisfying than Agents of Shield or Agent Carter (although I liked that one a bit). They just nailed it.

There was even (I’m pretty sure) one subtle call-out to the hallway hammer fight in Old Boy.

Can’t wait to see the Punisher in season 2.

Everybody needs a good red sauce place. Yes, if I’m going out for something exquisite, I’m off to Andiamo.  Or if I want something esoteric, you’ll find me at Sienna.  But if I just want to drop into… Read More


I feel like corporations have stopped looking at us like consumers and see us now more as cancer incubators.  It’s like they have all this extra cancer lying around in warehouses and on huge container ships and they just don’t know what to do with it.

Then they look at us and they see… well, baby birds with their mouths wide open and then, right away, it’s: You get a tumor!  And you get a tumor! Everybody gets a tumor!

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