Working in the corporate world as I do, I should not be surprised when I see something that reminds me of that all-time famous dish from the kitchen of too many cooks: spaghetti soup ham salad hash.

“Hey, you know that..uh.. what do you call it, Black List, is making bank. Let’s make another one of those.”

“You bet, chief!”

“A couple of notes though. You know how James Spader’s face is so expressive he can turn even the most hackneyed line into pure Shakespeare? Instead of that, let’s have a male lead whose jaw is wired shut. And, uh, for good measure, make sure he speaks in a growl that’s so low only whales can hear it.”

“Whales, got it!”

“And another thing: I’ve notice a tendency for what I like to call frilly, fancy pants writing to slip into some of our shows now and then. That whole Better Call Saul train wreck stinks of it. Let’s make sure that our show is just one cliche after another. It’ll help with audience recognition numbers.”

“Cliche’s, you got it. Anything else?”

“Nope, just the usual unmotivated, inexplicable mood shifts and unfounded emotional attachments. Oh, and I want to make sure we have the line, ‘Do you ever get tired of being right?’ said to the protagonist early on. Also, he should look at a map or something and say, ‘Someone like’s playing games.’ Those are two lines you can’t have a show without.”

“Great, I’ll just go code the parameters into the hit show generator and get a script for you!”

“Yeah, good, then wash my car, would you?”


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